Why did the blonde snort Sweet and Low?
She thought it was diet coke.
A blonde pushes her car into a gas station one day.
She tells the mechanic it just died as she was driving along.
The mechanic works on it and soon has the engine idling smoothly.
The blonde asks him, “So, what’s the story?”
The mechanic says, “Just crap in the carburettor.”
The blonde asks, “Okay, how often do I have to do that?”
There are these three blondes stood on one side of the river one day, wondering how they’re going to get across to the other side.
The first blonde, in desperation, begins to pray, “God please make me smart enough to get across this river.”
God hears this and turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river.
The second blonde then also starts to pray, saying, “Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river.”
So God turns her into a redhead and she builds a boat and rows across the river.
The third blonde, seeing this, also start to pray. She says, “Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined.”
So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
A blonde woman turns up at work in floods of tears. Her boss asks her what’s wrong.
She replies, “My mom died.”
The boss tells her to go home but she insists she’ll be fine.
Later that day, the boss finds her in floods of tears again so he asks if she’s okay.
She replies, “Not really. I just talked to my sister and her mom died too.”
A blonde woman is having a medical examination at the doctor’s.
The doctor says, “Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let’s check the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble…”
The blonde starts taking off her knickers but is interrupted by the doctor…
“No! No! Just stick out your tongue!”