Grinning at good joke

Worst Case Ever!

I went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All 5 of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

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Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Relatives

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative…

Announce that you won the lottery and you’ll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

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Smiley laughing at funny one liner

History

I’ve just spotted my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum.

I’m not going to go and say hi though.

There’s too much history between us.

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Smiley giving thumbs up to funny joke

Three Wishes

Genie: You have 3 wishes.

Me: I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won’t happen. I’m so sure it won’t, I’ll give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You son of a …

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Smiley laughing at funny one liner

He Did Warn Them

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink.

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theater.

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Grinning at good joke

Lumberjack

A lumberjack went to a magic forest to cut a tree.

Upon arrival at the tree he started swinging at the tree. “But, I’m a talking tree,” said the tree.

“And you will dialogue,” replied the lumberjack.

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