Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Sea Turtles

A guy walks into library and asks for a book on sea turtles.

The librarian asks, “Hard back?”

The guy replies, “Yeah, little heads too.”

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Smiley grinning at good joke

Mad Wife

My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

She just can’t seem to let it go.

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Laughing at funny short joke

Crime Spree

There’s a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA.

The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.

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Smiley laughing at a good joke

It Could Have Been Me

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus.

I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

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Smiley sticking tongue out at funny joke

Exotic Food

A new restaurant has opened in my town, serving the meat of exotic animals.

I just had the pelican.

It was delicious but the bill was enormous.

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Idiot smiley laughing at hilarious joke

Exactly!

The doctor said to me, “Do you know you have a serious problem vocalizing your emotions?”

I said, “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

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Smiley grinning at good joke

Getting Heavy

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

“Okay” I said, ” You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”

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