Funny Small Ads

Classified adds provide a useful function in society – they let people buy and sell things, and they also serve the vital role of reminding us just what kind of weirdos are out there. Here’s a selection of funny small ads to make you go WTF.

1. This Is A Grave Situation

  1. Buy used tombstone
  2. Change your name just before you die
  3. Profit…

Funny Small Ads

 2. A Love To Die For

…Or maybe you could buy it for your wife and get her to change her name to Homer HendelBergenHeinzel…

Funeral Advert

 3. They’d Only Be Worth $1 If They Were Buck Teeth

Now here’s an offer you could really get your teeth into! Or would you be biting off more than you can chew?

Dentures

4. What A Rott-en Picture

Aaannnddd…. speaking of something to get your teeth into – Mr Giggles really does look a bundle of fun and good with kids. If I was going to sell a dog, this is definitely the kind of picture I’d use!

Rottie Dog

5. Nothing To Crow About

Maybe he’s planning to stick them together to make vel-crows?

Dead Crow

6. That Seems ‘Armless Enough

The hand bone’s connected to the arm bone… the arm bone’s connected to the… oh, wait!

Arm Ad

7. A Right Balls-Up

It sounds like someone took their eye off the ball when getting it signed.

Signed Ball

8. That’s A Bad Cat-titude

I’m guessing there are at least nine scratches if the cat’s been killed. I guess they don’t pussy around.

Cat Cabinet

9. Are They Taking The P*ss?

Urine a fine mess if you buy this mattress…

Urine Mattress

10. Holy Cow! Or A Load Of Bull?

Those 500lb Angus steers can be tricky little blighters to keep track of; they’re so easily misplaced.

Lost Steer

11. A Pay Cut? Just The Job

Notice it says “staring pay” not “starting pay”. Maybe it’s just the job you’ve been looking for?

Pay Cut Job

12. The Lengths Some People Will Go To

I wasn’t quite sure whether to erm.. put this one in.

Full Length Vibrator

13. That Sounds Fowl

I guessed they were stuffed, but at least that means here’s an offer to gobble up.

Part Eaten Turkey

14. Ring If Interested?

The hoops you have to jump through to get a job these days!

Yard Work

15. Must Be Prepared To Travel… Time Travel, That Is

If you really wanted to spice things up, you could use a thyme machine…

15 Funny Small Ads - Time Travel Ad

Funny Small Ads 

If you enjoyed these funny small ads, check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and laughs, including our funny newspaper headlines.

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